Link: http://whistlecorps.com/blog/

Trisha Fells is a scam-artist, a fraud, a troll. A general, all-around lying sack of potatoes – with the critical distinction being that the average sack of potatoes may be julienned, fried and salted into a delicious state. Trisha Fells, if fried in oil, will not serve well to family and friends, as the Dead Sea’s-worth of NaCl will fail to season her rotten soul into palatability.

Looking for a job in America? Beware, because Trisha Fells (festering ass-boil) is looking for you.

I’m looking for a job in America, too. Having a small business is a lifesaver, for sure – but most small business owners are like me, and need a second (reliable) income stream to stay afloat. We don’t need much, but we need something. So, I’m out there searching for something.

For the most part, I use the Virginia Workforce Connection site. It’s a pretty good bet that, when you read a job description on VA Workforce, those words correspond to an actual job opening sitting out there somewhere on some HR person’s actual desk.

Whether there are jobs available within a workable commuting distance of your home, well, that’s another thing entirely.

Which brings me to Craig’s List.

I check the Charlottesville Craig’s List job postings every day for the local opportunities that sometimes slip through the VA Workforce net. And yes, many of these Craig’s List opportunities involve the words “escort”, “click here” and “make thousands working part time”. Dumb, I may be – in denial, I am not.

That’s why, when I tripped over a boring-enough-to-be-real ad for a court clerk and saw that a real person – Trisha Fells (plop of fetid water loitering in the u-bend) – was soliciting resumes from qualified individuals …

I fell for it.

Guess I am dumb. Within five minutes, I got a response from Ms. Fells (lumpy coagulate puckering the underbelly of American society) asking me to complete the online application. Link attached.

No doubt about it, I am stupid. I thought, since this was advertised as a city job, that it was reasonable to follow a link and fill out an official application. It took me 45-minutes to complete the process.

That was 45-minutes when I was (1) not tending to my child (home sick from school), (2) not keeping up with household chores, (3) not logging billable hours and (4) not applying for a legitimate job opportunity.

It ain’t easy for me to wrestle 45-stinking minutes from my day, let me tell you.

The Career Center Online. That’s where Trisha Fells (excrement-munching parasite) sent me. I’m not including the URL because I don’t want you to go there. I like you.

Less than one minute after I submitted my application, an email (containing links) went out to each of the professional references I submitted with the application. My professional references. Spammed.

Since I completed that application, we’ve all received various other solicitations courtesy Trisha Fells and The Career Center Online. Here are a few:

notification@facebookmail.com – Maria from Russia apparently remembers me from a dating forum I never heard of.

Cheryl Smith (postmaster@career-network.com) – Hopes I’ll be stupid again and click another link to confirm my interest in a fake job.

Samuel Brown (postmaster@career-network.com) – Hopes so, too.

Various individuals – Know where I can get Percocet.

Careers@jobenhancement.com – Bets with the odds that I am a complete idiot and will click another link for yet another fake job.

Cheryl Smith really, really wants to speak with me about her aforementioned fake job.

And some other guy from Korea knows how to enlarge an average penis.


There are others, I won’t go into it but, you get the idea.

About 30-seconds too late, I Googled “Trisha Fells” and “trishafells@gail.com” and found lots of similar job postings on local Craig’s List sites throughout the country.

I hate Trisha f*cking Fells. Somewhere at the end of that anonymous spam chain, there is an actual person sitting at an actual desk in their actual mother’s basement ... and that person – Trisha Fells in sweatpants and the flesh – is preying on those of us who need a job. Those of us who check the stupid Craig’s List multiple times each day, hoping to find SOMETHING.

First, do yourself a favor: Google the name and email address before you apply. It saves time and keeps your virus scanner under thumb: bored and unsatisfied.

Second, if you ever, ever in life, trip across Trisha Fells (fungus peel on the heel of a sweating, unconscious drunkard), tell her for me … tell her … tell Trisha Fells that I hope she comes to understand the value of the time and hope she stole from people.

And if she comes to that understanding whilst reclining tra-la-la under the wheel of a great big bus, well, then, so much the better.

Link: http://whistlecorps.com/blog/

The unemployment thing bores me. I’ve had enough. Besides, after seven months kvetching about the shocking lack of free will in the free market (“Hey, you’re a great worker, but, you know, gotta keep the shareholders happy, blah-blah-blah …”), I’m ready to reclassify us:

Unemployed; Liberated

(Thanks to www.encore.org, that most excellent source of inspiration, for punctuating our transition from corporate rejects to independent individuals.)

Since we lost the salary and false security of traditional employment, we’ve found new ways to cut our expenses and live better on less – living better on less?

What would you do if only you could? What if you can?

Here are some strategies that worked for us:

HSA Account
If the prospect of living without health insurance keeps you tethered to a career you’d rather cut loose, then consider a high-deductible HSA insurance plan partnered with an HSA account.

You get (1) gigantic monthly savings on premiums (we pay less than $200 p/month for a family of three), (2) tax deductible contributions and (3) tax deferred growth. And, you can fund your HSA account with a one-time rollover from your IRA.

In the next plan year following the rollover, any contributions you make are 100% tax deductible. Earnings on the account are tax-deferred, just like an IRA. Take the money out whenever you need it for qualified expenses: co-pays, glasses, dental work, ibuprofen PM (a girl’s best friend), whatever. The list is long, and there is no “use it or lose it” clause.

Insurance Checkup
I’ve been with a certain gecko-loving insurance company for almost 20 years. Accident free, household disaster free – generally, I’m a model of zero liability. Apparently, “cash cow” is not enough status to earn one the best rates or most appropriate policies possible.

Enter Steve Purdy, Innovative Insurance Solutions (www.innovativeinsure.com).

We did his new Web site back in September, 2009. In the course of editing several emphatic customer testimonials, I became convinced that Steve might offer some guidance during this new and volatile financial period of our lives.

Steve looked at our whole financial picture (including our insistence on keeping our daughter in private school), reviewed our insurance policies and helped us formulate a strategy to protect us through this salary-less time and cut our expenses by more than $1000 a month.

Call Steve (434.979.7588), he’s a terrific guy, or find someone just like him in your area. There were no out-of-pocket expenses and the savings make a difference.

By the way, the lizard never called to ask why I cancelled my policies. Talk about your 20-year, one-way relationships ...

Bank Change
I found out in October that we (as county residents) are eligible to join the local credit union. Better rates, lower fees, better service and we’re out of the big bank system.

Sure, it’s a nightmare to disentangle from old bank accounts, but the payoff is grand: an enduring, empowering sense of independence that changes our relationship with our money. Plus, it’s cheaper.

www.moveyourmoney.info – I’m sure you’ve heard of it, now go and check it out.

These three simple changes freed us from having to replace the old telecom job with its doppelganger: high-salary, high-risk, lots of hours and low-reward. We’re now free to develop our small business on our own terms.

Maybe you can do the same? Or free yourself to find greater fulfillment and even security in a lower-wage position? Or go back to school and become the teacher or nurse you always wanted to be?

The fences around your field of possibilities, you may find, have vanished.

Link: http://whistlecorps.com/blog/

We’re in month four of our unemployment experience. The job market in our area is, well, weak would be the kind and quickest descriptor.

What’s behind that small talk term, “weak job market”? Well, what lies behind affects us all, including you, even if your name is still written on a payroll somewhere.

Here’s how Mike and I are experiencing this jobless recovery: first, there are very few jobs available. The weekly threshold for collecting unemployment insurance in Virginia is two job contacts. We actually have trouble making that quota for jobs based here or in any realistically commutable distance from here. Pathetic, but not surprising.

Second, salaries are down, down, down. Here in Charlottesville, we’re facing the prospect of earning what we did in our first jobs out of college (circa 1991). Local companies seeking experienced, qualified individuals in our industry are offering $12-15 p/hour. Those aren’t just cost center jobs, either; we’re looking at that wage level for profit-generating positions.

Third, a full-time job is hard to find and harder to hold. Most companies have reclassified positions under that golden PT mantle. Work 30-hours a week and we don’t owe you (1) a real salary (2) benefits or (3) a commitment. This is happening across the hiring board: from small business (where necessity is in the driver’s seat) to large corporations (where “bottom-line” grips the wheel).

And yet, land one of these low-wage part-time jobs and you’re officially off the unemployment rolls – your number gets deducted from that scary statistic we hear every month, the one that momentarily affects trading on Wall Street. So, there you are, working 15-hours a week, netting about $175, but things are looking up because unemployment is headed down.

Real unemployment is the real issue. Look at this report by the United States Department of Labor, Bureau of Statistics. It puts the number of total unemployed “plus all marginally attached workers, plus total employed part-time for economic reasons” at 17.5% for October, 2009. Now that’s more like what we’re experiencing.

And, hey, that’s the number that’s coming for you, unemployed or no. The average American worker has been devalued to such a degree – their welfare swapped out for dividends (go ahead, try to disprove it) – we’re left with a labor force that’s been hollowed out like Swiss cheese, fine lace or Dick Cheney’s moral compass.

What about American expertise? I know too many experienced workers who are hiding under whatever first opportunity came their way. And so much the better if they didn’t have to sell their 20-year experience for that $12 an hour salary.

What about American ingenuity? Where there is no real contract between company and worker, there is no real incentive to invent. For this, I look back to Mike's time at giant-not-to-be-named telecom: he knew, from the day he was hired, that layoff was inevitable. Hard work? Talent? Reputation? These don't factor. It's difficult, for any worker faced with that reality, to fend off the "Oh, what's the point?" blues.

We’ve gutted our labor force, in very simple, very human terms that everyone can understand. Economic recovery? It comes down to food on the table. It comes down to individual pride. And, somewhere buried deep in all the “lies, damned lies and statistics” (love you, Sam Clemens!) – there is the truth that it’s time for the average American worker to divest of his addiction to corporate culture and apply her ingenuity to establishing real and enduring means of self-reliance.

I’ve learned a few good tricks, where that last matter is concerned. Ah, yes! There are no bad times without good lessons learned. We always lived lean in this household, but now we're learning to live smart.

Banking, healthcare and tax planning tips next time.

I’m a small business owner. I’m for meaningful health care reform, including a public option. I’m even ready to put my money where my bleeding heart is:

Top Five Taxes I’m Willing to Pay in Exchange for the Public Option

1. Soft Drinks
A tax on soft drinks, including those neon-colored non-carbonates disguised as “fruit juice” is the best idea I’ve heard this year.
2. Sweets
While you’re at it, Senator, tax my circus peanuts. I love circus peanuts and, God help me, I’ll keep buying them when they cost a few pennies more.
3. Fast Food
I try to avoid it anyway (puts money in my pocket for more circus peanuts).
4. Small Business Tax
Find some clever way to hit my business, and I’ll love you even better if you cover my small-potatoes self with a sliding scale.
5. Income Tax
Direct and simple. Take my money, please.

Why does the public option appeal to me?

Security.

Sure, competition and cost controls are great and wonderful and necessary – but really, it comes down to security: eliminating the fear of diagnosis. Because, in the corporate-controlled system we’re in, diagnosis is already a trigger for rationed care.

Since Mike lost his job in July, we’re still covered under COBRA. (By the way, our premium is more than $500 per month for our family of three, even with the 65% reduction currently in place. That’s almost half our mortgage payment.) We have this coverage for six months – after that, who knows what kind of insurance, if any, we’ll be able to afford?

I just turned 40. Guess why I’m not calling my doctor to arrange a mammogram?

Just in case, that’s why. Because health insurance companies have turned preventative care into an at-your-own-risk gamble.

I know you’re struggling with the same issues. You know folks, like I do, who don’t have insurance. That’s bad enough – but you also know that having health insurance is no guarantee of coverage, either. You have friends who’ve bumped up against annual or even lifetime limits; family members who were denied treatment. You’ve seen how past history impacts current premiums. You know, same as I do:

The government is accountable to us. The CEO of UnitedHealth Group is not.

That’s why I’m willing to throw the first circus peanut into the ring and shout, “Tax me, Mr. President!” (Gosh, I hope I get my circus peanut back.)

I’m a small business owner, and I’m willing to pay for the security and well-being that sky-high private insurance premiums just … don’t … cover. Choke on that, Murdoch.

I have this uncle, an airline pilot, who developed a bitterness habit, characterized by What’s-the-Use-type exclamations, that roughly – well, alright, exactly – coincided with the moment our Congress allowed the airline and union to dissolve his pension. *poof*

It happened just a few short years before the forced-retirement phase of his 37-year career. He found himself booted out of Happy Retirement Land (where your income and health care coverage are guaranteed to sustain life), dragging his own luggage into Retirement? What Retirement? Welcome to Super*Mart-Ville.

Most of us know the place, I suspect.

He eventually landed a job with a corporate jet company. Nice job, good folks. Layoff. He’s unemployed again … and happier than he’s been since being a pilot was just a wish he made on birthday candles.

Why’s that? Well, because there are certain upsides to unemployment. If you’re unemployed, you know what I’m talking about: when one lacks a certain degree of control, one sometimes experiences the same free-wheeling, “what the heck” euphoria that drives a kid to buy another ticket to ride the triple-loop coaster.

You can’t help it. For every day when you re-connect with the reality that $300-a-week unemployment income won’t keep you in lattes and designer clothes … or a house … there comes another day when you laugh and tell your niece how beautiful the Blue Ridge Mountains appear from the back of a motorcycle.

So, Mike and I had one of those days recently; and we took our misguided joie de vie to see the new Harry Potter movie.

Alright, here’s the humiliating truth: I’m a PotHead. Yes, I read literature and recognize the clear limits of J.K. Rowling’s prose, just as any good cocktail-party-intellectual would do – but, honestly? The woman created a fabulous world, and I am awe-struck by the achievement and a devoted (and detail-oriented) fan. Wish I could pass that off as my eight year-old’s obsession, not mine, but I can’t. Have to own it, so I am.

Perhaps that is why I felt so ruthlessly betrayed, when, in the very first scene of the movie, the moguls-that-be showed Harry trying to pick up a busty waitress in a whistle stop café.

I didn’t actually yell “WHAT THE—?!?” in the theater, because I think that might be illegal behavior (and I can’t afford the ticket just now), but I was sure thinking it. They changed Harry Potter’s character.

They did it in the last scene, too – and I won’t mention how, because I hate to be a spoiler, but my fellow Potheads will know the problem when they see it.

They changed the character. How dare they do that?

I was moody (not the Mad-Eye sort, either) for the rest of the day. In fact, I’m still perturbed. But it made me think: here we are, at a coming-of-age junction (of sorts) with Whistle Corps. I have to grow the business, have to do it quickly, and that necessitates some changes: opening new markets, marketing with some renewed verve and enforcing some policies that I’m not used to being a stickler about.

But I’d better stay true to our character while we do it. We have clients we’ve been working with for ten years, in some cases. They know what to expect from us: they know our values and service standards. We’re like Hogwarts! Alright, maybe that last part is all in my mind, but, if I change the character of our business just to grow the franchise … well, people are known to walk out on that sort of thing.